As I continue to navigate the heartbreaking experience of living with my father’s dementia, I can’t help but notice where and how whiteness, white supremacy culture and my own internalized racial superiority (IRS) show up. 

I have always prided myself on being able to “manage” my time, multi-task, and get things done. I am the organizer, the planner, the one you can count on to hold it all together. I’m on top of things and have everything “under control”.

So what happens now, that the universe has not so gently turned my world upside down? I have had no choice but to let some things go and shift my priorities and values. As I navigate through this unfamiliar terrain, I can literally feel the steady pull of white supremacy culture witness and IRS as they keep tugging at me and telling me I’m not good enough if I can’t do it all, if I don't return a call or message right away or if I’m not the one holding it all together. 

It is a huge internal struggle but I am beginning to let go a little, and release myself from the relentless tug of white supremacy culture. The more I’m able to recognize how whiteness shows up in my life, the more I realize what the costs have been. I have bought into false beliefs that I am only as good as what I can do for others, that I should be able to do it all myself. These beliefs have my insides tied up in knots most of the time and have cost me  friendships, opportunities to develop deeper relationships and moments of precious breath.

I am slowly trying to release myself from the tight grip of urgency, perfectionism and meritocracy, and I am making precious space for community, support and breath. I’m allowing my community to support me and love me, and I’m trying to redefine myself and my values in a way that does not uphold WSC. One of the ways I hope to do this  is by continuing to  share stories and resources with this community.

See you on the journey,

Robin

Read Robin Alpern’s chapter about our “Arc of white womanhood” workshops: Rise for Racial Justice 9780807767146 | Teachers College Press

SAVE THE DATE: The Arch of white womanhood June lifework session #4 June 28th: Topic TBD

Other great upcoming workshops and trainings

People’s Institute of Survival and Beyond (PISAB): Undoing racism and community organizing workshops: https://pisab.org/workshops-in-your-area/

Center for the Study of white american culture (CSWAC) https://cswac.org/

Register for raising anti-racist white children: https://cswac.org/events/raising-anti-racist-white-children-3/

On November 19th, I was interviewed by Marsha Ramroop, RIBA Director of Inclusion and former BBC journalist, on the RIBA radio show. You can find my interview at 47:30; the entire video is about an hour long.

I was interviewed by Amira Martin, LCSW-R, and I shared more about my private practice, training, and leadership work. Throughout the interview, I talked about my approach to my work as a white therapist using an anti-racist perspective.

Robin Schlenger