— Training With an Anti-Oppressive Lens

The other day, I was explaining to my 82 year old father why Columbus Day has been renamed Indigenous People’s Day. He is not new to conversations about race, oppression, privilege and inequity, after all, I’m his daughter. What brought joy to my heart that day was how he responded. Aside from a very rough period from my late teens through early 20's, we have always been able to talk to each other about almost anything. When I was 17, my father refused to let my boyfriend, who was black, into our home and I was totally caught off guard by his reaction. I just never expected it. In retrospect, I made a lot of assumptions and we never really talked about race in my home. That was the beginning of a very rough period between us. It hurt to the core to feel so distanced from my dad and yet, I never gave up on our relationship. We worked through it eventually with a lot of talking, deep listening, and love. I don’t think we would be where we are today if it wasn’t for the commitment we both had/have to our relationship. We have come a LONG way!!!

When my dad sold the home my sister and I grew up in, he moved into a senior living community. After about a year of living there, I got an excited call from him telling me that he had been invited to join a new diversity committee. I guess all these years of talking and deep listening finally rubbed off. When the committee started, my dad told them, “I think this is what my daughter does” and through his introduction, I’ve been consulting with them ever since. His pride in me, and what I do is palpable.

My dad (like many of us) gets confused about some of the changes going on and I get it. He’s 82 and statues are coming down, holidays are being renamed, and people are using they/them pronouns. His world is changing and he is trying to understand. When he asked me why Columbus Day was now being called Indigenous People’s day, it felt good to be able to talk to him, knowing he truly was listening. I reminded my dad that Columbus never actually set foot in what is now known as the United States of America. However, Columbus and his crew, were responsible for the murder, rape and multiple other atrocities committed against the Indigenous Peoples of the Caribbean (where he actually landed). Why would we honor this man I asked? I explained that I felt renaming Columbus Day, Indigenous People’s Day, is one small way to actively recognize and commemorate the continued survival and recognition of Indigenous People. “Oh, I get it”, “That makes a lot of sense”, he said. How far we have come and how much I love him and the relationship we share.

White supremacy culture would have us value transactional relationships. Valuing and nurturing sustainable and accountable relationships instead is one way that I can begin to undo my white supremacy training. I hope that you will join me in building these relationships with your family and friends, especially the ones that are most challenging.

Below are some great resources. Please take them in and pass them on.

See you on the journey,

Robin

This Month's Resources